President: Sara Cooke, more qualified than Trump.
Vice Presidents: Ashton Titus, an aries™, and Mai-Thanh Nguyen, a thanh of fun.
Secretary: Leah Feldman, proud owner of a 2008 Subaru Outback.
Treasurer: Hannah Nelson
Outside Events Coordinator: Javier Damian
Communications Director: Anabelle Sturdivant, Chrissy Teigen wannabe.